Woman, Live!

You’ll Never Successfully Fit In! Just Be You!

“Trying to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”


Sometimes I’ll see someone “doing them” and they make it look so good that I want to try it for myself! But, I can’t do it like them because I can’t imitate their passion, their experiences, or their why. And, even if I pull it off for a split second, it doesn’t fulfill me because it’s not authentically mine. After a bit of soul-searching, I’ve found that I don’t want to be them. I don’t want their talents, their goals or their personality. I want their freedom. 

Have you ever been in a room full of people you don’t know? You kind of check out the atmosphere first. Is everyone behaving in a professional manner? Is it a relaxed setting? Are people joking around and laughing loud? That always helps me to determine which Brandi is socially acceptable. When I moved to Guam, I was feeling my way about. Should I act this way or that way? Who is this particular group and what is acceptable? I’ll just sit back quiet as a mouse. After a year of being on Guam, I took it to the other extreme. I’m just going to be outside of the box at all times! *Insert loud laugh with a side of you can kiss my butt and an I’m gonna be me, honey! plus a snap!* I think I’ve finally found a good medium, the real me.

I’m passionate about faith and dreaming BIG. With that comes a loud voice, many hand gestures, and me possibly walking and/or jumping around the room with a conviction like no other. I love family dinners! My stomach hurts when the sun begins to set and I realized I’ve been inside all day. One of my favorite things to do is sing. I can watch Iyanla Fix My Life and Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday for 18 hours straight, I’m sure. Without music, I’m dull. Friendships are very important to me; consequently, I have very few. Guam has taught me to embrace my African-American-ness. Before, I didn’t necessarily like the stereotypes that defined my culture. Now, I embrace (some of) them! Here on Guam, no one gets upset if you say there’s going to be rice at the next potluck! Why? Because there is!! So, why should I constantly think twice before displaying my extreme like for chicken and watermelon? I love it! My whole family loves it! Being here on this island where culture is celebrated makes me want to discover and celebrate my own…even if that means giving others permission to be ignorant and spin it as a negative. Get a life!

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Most of the people we admire embrace who they are….good, bad, and ugly. And, they thrive on simply being themselves. What greater freedom is there? Just being ME is so much easier than copying someone else. And, it’s so assuring to know that God created each of us with our own unique talents, desires, and personalities. What pulls on my heart strings may not pull on yours. The goals I have in life may not be the goals you are seeking to accomplish. It’s not supposed to! We have unique purposes so we can affect every inch of this world! So, this week, I encourage you to get back to being YOU! And, never stop striving to be the BEST YOU that you can be!

Have you been you lately?

If not, what can you do to get back to being 100% yourself?

See you in the comments!


With LOTS of love!


7 thoughts on “You’ll Never Successfully Fit In! Just Be You!

  1. Brandi! Thank you for this – needed this at this exact moment! The best me is always good enough, no matter what. And you know what? If I get it wrong and screw things up, I always live to [insert action here] another day.

    I pray you well as you continue to grow and learn in Guam.


    • The “disease to please” is real! And, for what? In the end, you can’t please everyone and when you try, you end up unhappy. I think I found my “unapologetic” self when I became a mom, too. I stand up for my daughter in a way that I NEVER felt comfortable standing up for myself.


  2. It took me a long time to embrace my true me. I tried to change who I was so I could be more socially acceptable. I realized very quickly that the people who knew me the best, were not accepting of who I was acting like. So i went back to being the cooky nerdy me that I always was. Still, I had people who didn’t like me But not everyone is going to like me and that’s ok. I’m happy with the woman I am and God is too. Otherwise, He wouldn’t have made me…me!!


  3. Pingback: 9 Lessons I’ve Learned As A Christian Wife, Mom & Blogger | Woman, Live!

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