The Real, Ugly You Is So Much Prettier Than The Fake You

Insecurity.

Fear.

Doubt.

Shame.

Guilt.

Hurt.

Low self-esteem.

Lack of confidence.

Every woman you know has dealt with one or more of these issues. Every woman you know is dealing with one or more of these issues. Every woman you know. The problem is we try so hard to look as if we have it all together that when we have an issue we can’t confide in anyone because it will destroy this facade we’ve created and worked so hard to maintain. So, we suffer in silence because we can’t tell anyone the raw, ugly truth. And, even if we were willing to give up the mask of perfection, who can we tell? None of our “perfect” girlfriends would understand. So, we’ve created a cycle of hurt and isolation because no one is willing to stop and say, “I’m struggling. I’m not perfect. I was wrong. I don’t have it altogether. I need support.”

The question I want to ask you is why are we pretending? What are we afraid of? Are we afraid we’ll be judged? Ridiculed? Laughed at? If so, let’s be the change we seek. When we see someone who doesn’t have it together, show some compassion. Go to her and strike up a conversation, offer her an ear, tell her everything’s going to be okay. We’re afraid of how people will treat our truth because we know how we would treat their’s. We’d judge, ridicule, and walk away. We have to stop this, ladies. We’re violating one another and sending the message that suffering alone at night is okay as long as we successfully fooled everyone into thinking we had it altogether during the day. Who prefers that? Personally, I’d appreciate having the opportunity to be honest with my sisters. Getting it out always helps if you have the right people around you to encourage, support, love, and stand with you. Being open with your sister can bring a fresh perspective and helpful suggestions. Your sister can pray for you. Your sister can provide comfort. Your sister can help you get through this. You don’t have to do life by yourself. But, you have to be willing to remove the mask and reveal the real, ugly you. I know it’s scary. But, I guarantee your sisters will appreciate the genuine, human you much more than the always put together you. Not only will you feel lighter, but your honesty will free them, as well. They will begin to take their masks off and you’ll see their heart in a way you’ve never seen it before.

The next time you encounter that perfect woman whether she’s passing you on the street or staring back at you in the mirror, remember we are all struggling with something. Our fake face keeps us from opening up, but it also isolates us when we need our sisters the most. Ladies, I understand the desire to be strong, independent, and self-sufficient. I get it.  But the truth is, we need each other. Let’s be strong enough to be honest, even when it exposes our facade for the fraud that it is. When you open your eyes and see that all your sisters are still there, ready to support you and love you through this thing, you’ll find that the real, ugly you is much prettier than the fake you ever was.

With Love,