Live! / Woman

Is Your Destiny Worth Losing Some Friends? You Bet It Is!

I’m reading a book called Dream Killers by Jim Raley. Well, let me rephrase, I’m skimming it. I feel pretty up-to-speed on what a dream-killer is. Dream Killers usually come in the form of:

1. Insecurities

2. Situations

3. Family

4. Friends

5. Fear, etc.

But, as I’m skimming it, a few different passages caught my eye and I immediately knew that skimming this book would be a disservice to myself and to you!

So, I’m going to read it over the holidays, BUT in the meantime, there was one passage I had to share IMMEDIATELY and it’s HUGE (in my Oprah voice!).

You ready?

To Find Favor With Those Who Matter, You Have To Sacrifice Favor With Those Who Don’t

Go ahead, fall in the floor, hold your chest, and gasp for air!

YES, you HAVE to get over wanting your best friend’s approval. We love grandma, but grandma might have to be unhappy this time.

Why? Because too much is at stake! And, quite frankly, they’re not worth defaulting on your God-given destiny. Period.

Jim Raley bases this book off of the Bible story of Joseph. In case you haven’t read the story, you can find it here. But in the meantime, I’ll give you the cliffnotes, Brandi version.

Joseph was his dad’s favorite son. His brothers hated him for that and for the fact that he was a dreamer. So, they sold him into slavery and told their dad that Joseph was murdered. When he got to Egypt, He was noticed by Potiphar (one of Pharaoh’s right hand men) and chosen to work in his home. Potiphar’s wife wanted to sleep with Joseph and when he denied her she said that he tried to rape her. So, Joseph was thrown into prison. While he prison, Joseph interpreted some dreams for the other prisoners. When the prisoners got out of prison, Pharaoh was having some bad dreams. And, the prisoner remembered Joseph. So, Pharaoh called for Joseph, Joseph explained the dream and was made 2nd in command. There was a famine in the land and Joseph’s brothers ended up traveling to Egypt to ask for food. Guess who they had to ask for food from…

Yep! Baby brother, Joseph! Where is the popcorn?! This just gets juicier and juicier! So, what happens next? Guess you’ll just have to crack open your Bible to find out. But, back to Dream Killers…

In his book Dream Killers, Raley points out that:

If Joseph would have sought the favor of his brothers and had been willing to compromise for their favor, he would have never seen his dreams come to pass.

Raley isn’t suggesting that you cut ties with all non-supporters, but the pivotal question he’s asking is this:

Are you willing to upset them in order to obey God?

Let’s lay out a few things about Dream Killers (according to Raley): 

1. Dream killers become consumed by jealousy.

But while his brothers were jealous of Joseph, his father wondered what the dreams meant. (Genesis 37:11, NLT)

2. Dream killers feel threatened. 

His brothers responded, “So you think you will be our king, do you? Do you actually think you will reign over us?” (Genesis 37:8, NLT)

3. Dream killers despise great destiny. 

Let me tell you something that I know first hand. No one’s going to be mad at you when you’re doing what they’re doing. People get mad when you decide that you want more because it suggests that what they have/want is small potatoes.

Do you know that Woman, Live! has had dream killers? If you can’t believe it, we’re in the same boat, because neither can I. Do you know that my desire to become a life coach has had dream killers? Yep, in disbelief, yet again. But, John Raley says that when you experience dream killers, it can actually be a sign that you’re on the right path. Now that, I can believe because I’ve witnessed it first hand.

When I was a server at Red Lobster, no one was mad. But, when I said I wanted to become an A-list blogger who coaches women to seek God and live out their dreams….Sherlock, we have a problem. 

It wasn’t until I started dreaming big that I lost friends.

And, some might still ride with you when you’re just talking. Start acting on your dreams and more dream killers will emerge.


One person actually wrote me and said, “I read your blog post and it made me realize I’m happy with what I have. Does God want me to have all that?” I’m happy with my blessings, too, but I want some more tomorrow! In fact, I want every blessing God imagined for me when he was shaping my little body in utero.

Jesus said we would do greater things than Him.

12 “I can assure you that whoever believes in me will do the same things I have done. And they will do even greater things than I have done, because I am going to the Father.13 And if you ask for anything in my name, I will do it for you. Then the Father’s glory will be shown through the Son. 14 If you ask me for anything in my name, I will do it. (John 14:12-14, ERV)

I don’t know what your schedule looks like, but I haven’t healed anybody or turned any water to wine, lately. So, that means I still got some living to do!

Mark Batterson says that we’re not called to do awesome things. We’re called to go all in and all out for the All in All. He says If you don’t go all in, you’ll never enter the Promised Land. But if you go all out, God will part the Jordan River so you can cross through on dry ground.” 

God does awesome things when we say, “Your will be done.”

And, when we say, “Your will be done,” and mean it, He starts moving and shaking some things.

And, when we share what He’s revealed to us and what He wants to do through us, those dream killers say,

“God said what?”

“To YOU?”

“Who do you think you are?”

“You used to want _____.”

“Now you want to do that?”

“Since when?”

“How are you doing to do it?”

“It’s going to be hard.”

“I think you should just go back to doing what you were doing before.”

But, you have to decide. What’s more important?


Remaining in unhealthy relationships trying to win the favor of people who are more concerned with themselves (their fears, their insecurities) than the will of God for your life?


Or, lifting them up in prayer while you run after Jesus and all that He has for you?

You know which one I’m choosing….

I hope you’ll do the same.

Your #1 Fan,


One thought on “Is Your Destiny Worth Losing Some Friends? You Bet It Is!

  1. The devil comes to feed on our insecurities. Agreed, its our sign that we are doing something right. People will be people. Haters will hate. The biggest problem for me is that I am my worst dream killer of them all!


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