Today I was VERY offended. When I say VERY, I was almost cross-eyed with frustration and unbelief and disgust. And, as I let it simmer on the inside, my wheels begin to turn. How should I handle this? Should I
confront carefront these people? Should I share my disgust with my friends so they, too, can be disgusted and we can all gag together? Should I never talk to these people again because they’ve been so ewww? I have to do SOMETHING to make myself feel better! WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Then, while I was sitting on the toilet contemplating how they were going to feel my wrath, I had several epiphanies.
The first one was that all of my ideas were useless. Just because they offended me TO MY CORE, I don’t have to tell them or repeat the story over and over to anyone that’ll listen.
Secondly, I could not talk to them again, but why? Because I didn’t like something they did or said? Burning bridges is whack, especially over hurt feelings that they didn’t even know they were hurting. Keep it business-like and move on.
But, what? What can I do about this?! Clearly, it was really bothering me.
I can learn from this.
1. I know what it feels like when someone does this so DON’T DO IT.
2. Oh wait, I’ve been doing that to someone else. I wonder if people were disgusted with me the way I was disgusted with these folks. Wow. Ok, so, I’m never doing that again.
3. Oh snap! I just took that angry, offended, vengeful thought and tossed it in the trash! I CHOSE to think something different, something better even when I wasn’t sure how. (2 Cor. 10:5)
And, the biggest lesson of them all…
4. God rescues us when we stop playing games.
Sometimes we say we’re looking for a way out when we’re really content just retelling the story a million and one times to anyone who’ll listen and share in our outrage, pity party, slam fest, etc.
Life gives us lots of mirrors called situations. You can tell a lot about a person by how they react to different situations. But, sometimes we’d rather stew in it than see the lesson we needed to learn. The next time you’re stewing, take some time to self-reflect. There are a gazillion self-reflection questions, but the main one is what is the lesson?
Sometimes we pretend we’ve self-reflected and realized the lesson and the lesson is the most ratchet lesson EVER! God was trying to show me that I don’t need nobody but myself. You can’t trust family! Don’t ever let anybody in.
SELF-reflection is all about YOU. And, the lesson should never come from a place of shut-down and isolation. At the core, that is unforgiveness and in the long run it does not work.
Use all the mirrors you’re given to learn more about yourself. The good, bad, and the ugly. When I was younger, I would cry in the mirror. The more pathetic I looked, the harder I cried. Don’t use the mirror to count your tears, relive your pain, or see how pitiful you look. Use your mirror for healing, forgiveness, grace, and self-improvement.
What mirror are you looking in right now? What did you learn from your self-reflection?